BPD/DS Information

About Me

I was an only child, raised as a Presbyterian. I prayed with a radio evangelist  when I was 10 and had a childhood experience of following God according to the teachings of other people's understanding.  I never read the Bible for myself nor was I ever challanged to.  I believed the things that these "Christians" told me to believe and hated the thnigs they told me to hate.

When my father died, I was 15 years old. I asked the youth pastor of our church where my father was  and this man told me he did not know and could not tell me. I was desolate and found love and acceptance from friends outside of the church. Especially  with two warm, loving  and intelligent atheists.  I soon rejected God,  Jesus,  church and those I deemed to be intolerant Christians.

I entered college  an agnostic and left a full blown atheist.  I got married and at the age of 23 I had my first child. A near death experience during delivery left me terrified of dying. I  soon began searching for  Spiritual Truth. Was there a God, could I know him, she or it?  Was there a creator God, a personal God, or simply a force or being greater than myself that could be called God?

2 more children and 3 years later I was still seeking answers. At the age of 27, I had my first meaningful dialog with a couple of Jehovah Witnesses. They soon began coming to my home on a weekly basis and we would talk about spiritual matters. I found myself reading the Bible and was totally smitten by the Jesus I found quoted and described there.  By the fall of 1971 I separated myself from the JW's as I could not subscribe to their beliefs and practices. Gradually I grew in my knowledge of God, his word and especially in his son Jesus.

Whenever I am overwhelmed by empty religiosity or feelings of depression I refocus on my simple faith in Jesus and remember that He is  always with me and He is the reason I  believe in God.

The Gardener - by P. Hallam


This poem is meant to be a gift of hope ... of love ... and encouragemnent

Jesus is a gardener

and this is how I know

He made us in His image

with a plan for us to grow.

***

Within our hearts which is His soil

He plants His tiny seeds,

surrounding us in tender love

to fertilize our needs.

***

The scriptures are His living words

they're food to help us grow,

and prayer is to revive us

as our thirst to know Him flows.

***

And when a plague does blight us

Jesus mounds us with His hands,

like a shield our faith protects us

and enables us to stand.

***

We will fight if He directs us

or wait patiently and still,

Christ takes our heavy burdens

at a cross on Calvary's hill.

***

Every Oak and every Violet

all the flowers that we see

stand simply to reminds us

God grows them like you and me.

---

Patricia Hallam - 1996 God Bless you all!